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Post by Delora DuBois on Jul 25, 2010 14:16:09 GMT -5
How long had it been since she was washed up here on this place? A year or two perhaps, she couldn't remember. Time meant nothing to her, and had for quite sometime. 'It means nothing when you're immortal' she thought with a frown. Unlike other daimons that were banished from their realm, her memories of her old life remained intact. She rested against a nearby tree, and pulled her knees close to her chest.
'Could the person who banished me here been more cruel? Couldn't they have wiped my memories?' she thought as tears began to roll down her cheeks because with her memories came the knowledge that she was Despair, and the feelings came with it. Over the course of her young life, she tried to commit suicide on several occasions, and each time, failed. She wanted desperately to get back to her real home, back to the one person who mattered in her life. 'Mammon' she thought to herself, a rare smile forming on her lips.
He was the only person who she cared for, and the only person who treated her with any kindness. What she felt for him was hard for her to define. All she knew was that he was her world, and she'd do anything for him. The more she thought about him, the more she could feel his presence. 'It's all in your head, he can't really be here' she thought as more tears fell from her eyes.
However, this feeling was too strong to ignore. 'It couldn't be' she thought, getting up from the ground, and beginning to walk to where the feeling was coming from. Suddenly, a familiar figure came into her line of sight, and she gasped. Though his appearance maybe different, his face was unmistakable. "Mammon, is that you?" she asked softly, her voice trembling slightly.
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Post by SHANE DEVONTE ANUBIS on Jul 25, 2010 15:18:21 GMT -5
YOU'VE GOT A NERVE ¡¯TO BE ASKING A FAVOR !!!you've got a nerve to be calling my number ?! ...and i know, we've been through this beforeCAN'T YOU HEAR ME NOW, I'M CALLING OUT YOUR NAME ?!?- - - - - - - - -$$$;;- - - - - - - - -Life had zoomed by so fast in those few weeks of his summoning. Ivory was an ever-changing place, and to keep up, you had to quicken your pace or be left in the dust, trampled under the witch and the wolf's heels. That was never an option for Shane, to be forgotten, to be ignored. It sounded like the worst fate to him, unsuprising to a person who didn't feel dying. He'd seen so many things that he'd thought good and bad, he'd eventually forgotten what he was and where he came from - the deepest hole in hell.
He'd met a few people that he'd slapped the label 'love' on, and it seemed that each time they distracted him, they cracked the fragile heart of their romance and he was left to pick up the pieces as they ran as far away.He'd thought it strange how people could toy with his emotions like that; I could kill them. He knew how easy it would be - jsut a simple flick of the rist and his fist would be through their skull, bloodied as it fell limp. He had nothing to fear, for he could not die. How could they know they could hurt him, the secret weapon in a beast that can't be beaten? Not even his own family knew, thta under that cold, selfish, vicious, arrogant exterior lurked a soul that was as vulnerable as a child. They didn't know what to do to take his power away, that pumping weakness that had resided in his chest. He could be classified as a monster, sure, but that thing in his chest was more evil. It's shrivelled, black body lays there in his chest, like a possum in the middle of the road, only playing dead until you felt the most comfortable. Just as he felt the most comfortable, though, someone always found a way to bring it back to life, reviving the evil thing.
He was part-sad and part-joyous that his siblings didn't know about it. Their relationship was strange, with his family, an eternal hate that was just as strong as the hate between all of them. They could be unbearable, but like a human family, he was stuck with them, just for an eternity. They had to get used to eachother, no matter what fights and loves broke out amongst them. His hate constantly shifted about them, never sure which one he truly despised. Do I hate any of them?, he asked, so confused by his own question. Even admidst the things he could never get, his selfish greed annoyin the rest of them, some of them still loved Mammon. I'd like to think that true., he smiled, not a rare thing in itself, but it felt so strange to feel anything, at relationships he had yet to understand. "Will I ever?", he asked himself in that forest, amongst the thick woods.
But now, this car he called a family had it's last car crash and it's fragile metal frame had been left twisted and broken beyond repair. The children the siblings once were, they had grown over time, however slowly they were. They had been so childish all this time. Well, I have. They had thought they were 'eternal children', just caught in an eternity of blissful childhood, nothing more than stupid children with too much power. But they had grown so fast, so mature. Those feelings of hate and love, they were always foolish, not real. But as they had crashlanded into the island, their feelings had become so cemented, so etched in stone, as they pretended they were smart enough to understood it. None of them did; Except that what they did now would last forever. No matter how stupid all of them may have been, that much was apparent.
A single tear left his eye, and he hated it. It felt so alien, so strange on his vermillion-tint skin. It's warmth felt so unwanted, on his dry, cold soul that had long hardened, even before he came here. He had found someone new, another name to call 'love'. She seemed to be special to him, she was different, he reasoned to himself, preparing it for his siblings when their curiousity came round as to hwy he had fallen in love with a mortal. Truthfully, he didn't know. She had enchanted him, lured him in, hook, line, and sinker. She had grabbed the reins of that wild horse that was his heart and tamed the beast, and sat in that weatherworn saddle that so many before have. She had captivated him, and whatever she did, she had the power to break him.
So much had happened in so little time, it seemed, as the summer sweeped on by and the cool breeze of autumn befell them. He knew that what happened now, here on earth, would be eternal, for the rest of his undying life. It was so distracting, he had forgotten so much. He had tried not to dig too far into his head, not wanting to dig up memories of dead love. But there was one love that never died, and had been waiting for him this whole time, left to sulk in her own misery. His eyes widened, as the memories came flooding back, a cold dose of the tortured creature he had created, his only true child. "I'm so fucking stupid.", he cursed at himself and his damned memory, furious that he could forget about her. His insides felt like they lofted out of his body at those three words, and he felt so empty inside, as worries poured inside of him. He could feel fury building up inside him, thinking of the things he'd do to anyone who dared hurt her.
But then he couldn't help have his mind wander to what he was trying to ignore. That feeling that had always built in the back of his mind as soon as Despair was gone. What if she killed herself?, he thought, remembering that pure sorrow that seemed to stain her soul. The though, he wanted it out, but it wouldn't cease tormenting him. You made her that way, Mammon covered his ears, but the words resided within. It's your fault, she hates you. He shivered, so scared that it may have been true, but even if it hurt her, he needed to see her a last time. But he wasn't going to; He was trapped on thsi island, and chances are she was miles away. He had failed, trying to save her from his siblings, when he really needed to save her from herself.
His eyes burst open as if he had been in a long slumber, as he heard the faintest sound of her voice, almost like a ghost, as it faded away. He hoped it wasn't his mind teasing, oh god, he hoped it wasn't. His dark eyes scored the forest, the long trees all looking like humans in his desperation, fearing that it was only his mind playing tricks on him. It couldn't have been, though, as he felt that feeling in his gut. He could feel her around here, her sweet smell in the air. His leg muscles tightened, as he was ready to bolt through the forest crazily, tearing it apart in his search. But he didn't have to, as a blonde appeared in front of him. She looked different, but it was Pazuzu indefinately. A small smile formed on his face as she spoke his name, thinking, maybe I might just get lucky for once in my miserable life. There was only one way to find out, as he bolted towards her, rapping his arms around her in a warm embrace. "Pazuzu!", was the only word he could utter out, his mind in the purest form of joy, with not a word he could say to describe his bliss. Oh, there were so many things that he should have been worried about, but for now, he was simply happy to be reunited with Pazuzu.
- - - - - - - - -$$$;;- - - - - - - - -CAN'T YOU SEE ME NOW, I'M POUNDING ON YOUR DOOR !!! TAG. pazuzu! C:
WORDS. 1344.
OUTFIT. CLICK.
MUSIC. YESTERDAY - the beatles
NOTES. i love pazuzu.
CREDITS. made by karma!
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Post by Delora DuBois on Jul 26, 2010 1:15:37 GMT -5
Pazuzu felt tears spring into her eyes as Mammon wrapped his arms around her. She slowly lifted her arms and returned the embrace, sobs beginning to escape her lips. "I've miss you so much. It's been so dark and lonely up here without you" she said softly between her sobs, burying her head in his chest. Despite her attempts to kill herself in order to return, the only thing that kept her hanging on was him, and the hope they'd meet once more. It had been nothing but a living hell since she was banished here. She mostly lived on the streets, in homeless shelters, and even in institutions for her suicidal tendencies.
It was when she managed to escape from a boat taking her and several others to a different institution that she jumped, swimming towards the direction of the island where she had been stuck for quite some time. "I never in my wildest dreams thought you would be here. How did you get here?" she asked, her light blue eyes looking at the man who consumed her every thought and actions for as long as her young mind could remember.
"There wasn't a moment that I didn't think of you" she whispered into his ear, nuzzling the side of his neck, inhaling is familiar scent. 'It's been too long since I've seen him' she thought, holding him tighter. It was thinking of him that kept her sorrows at bay, to keep herself from fully succeeding in taking her life. She had found other outlets for her despair in the form of small cuts on her thighs and upper arm to keep them from being visible. However, none of that took her pain away like being in Mammon's arms.
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Post by SHANE DEVONTE ANUBIS on Jul 27, 2010 16:15:57 GMT -5
YOU'VE GOT A NERVE ¡¯TO BE ASKING A FAVOR !!!you've got a nerve to be calling my number ?!...and i know, we've been through this beforeCAN'T YOU HEAR ME NOW, I'M CALLING OUT YOUR NAME ?!?- - - - - - - - -$$$;;- - - - - - - - -
He pulled Delora closer, just enough to feel his black heart thump in his hollow chest, devoid of any working organs. It was a rare occurance in itself, but it seemed as if it had been happening more and more lately, the shrivelled black organ working hard to push the dark, forest green blood through his long-flattened veins. It didn't hurt so much, anymore; It was bizarre, but he found it had been happening a lot lately. He was changing, changing from the cartoonish image of selfishness and viciousness that he once was to a real person with a beating heart. It was a scary thought, but for some reason, he welcomed it. Of course, he was still his same, rude self who would always put his priorities over others, but a few people could manage to bring out a softer side of him that no one else quite could.
It was a struggle, to push those feelings of self-centeredness and stupidity into the corner of his mind, if only for a few seconds or the rest of his life. Painful, even, to even contemplate battling his egotistical attitude, battling it with insults to himself; Something so unlike him, to think of himself as anything less of royalty.But that bizarre feeling he had just so recently re-discovered, that feeling called love, seemed to take his world and flip it on his backside. The loss of common sense that came with it wasn't a problem - he had never had it or enjoyed it in the first place, going through life blindly demanding what he wanted from the siblings, his needly teeth clenched tightly together as the whites of his eyes stared them down like a rabid dog, ready to strike at any moment if he didn't get what he demanded.
Damn it, he thought, the exact thing he had felt he shouldn't have been doing. Another thing as of late is that he felt his mind was in constant action, not a thoughtless moment since he had came to this place. He jsut wnated to wander in life stupidly and blissfully as he had used to. His arms still tightly around her, the thoughts left his head once more, as he decided it best to give her the pleasure of his words rather than his thoughts, silent to her ears, which obviously needed his voice so bad. "I know, sweetheart, I know.", he said, and he couldn't help it, but those hot tears seemed to stream down his face, but he paid them nod mind, keeping himself together for her sake. He had missed her, one of the few things on this realm or any other he had come to care about, a rare thing of hope in his sociopathic outlook. Laying soft, gentle lips on the girl's forhead, it unsettled him a bit to know that she wasn't the only one now.
Suddenly, just like that, a million horrifying thoughts stung his mind, like a hive of angered hornets swarming about his nimble flesh. They were the questions, the thoughts that he wanted to leave alone and best leave unanswered, those dirty revelations that he had rather have just left alone. But no matter how unpleasant, they came flooding in, and were going to pull him down. He realized that, perhaps, him and Pazuzu didn't have the same ideas for their love for eachother. Shane loved her, and he wasn't afraid to say it, but possibly not in the way she did. Damn, he loved her with all his heart, but in the way a parent would love their child; It was great, but was it what Pazuzu desired from him?
That spot, however, had been recently reserved, and he was afraid Pazuzu was too late, if she ever had a chance at all. Tucking the girl's head into his neck, her questions fell over deaf ears, as his eyes seemed miles away. He wanted to answer, he wanted to answer the girl's desperate curiosities, but he needed to know the answers himself first. He could only nod, agreeining with her, more to make her happy. What is she going to do when she meets Pixie?, he asked himself. He hoped she wouldn't be too devastated, he didn't even want to imagine her face as her soul shattered into fragemnts; But it had to happen. H e knew that Pixie was the one for him, no doubt about it. He just didn't want to break Delora anymore than she already was.
- - - - - - - - -$$$;;- - - - - - - - -CAN'T YOU SEE ME NOW, I'M POUNDING ON YOUR DOOR !!! TAG. pazuzu.
WORDS. 753.
OUTFIT. CLICK.
MUSIC. KILLING ME SOFTLY - the fugees
NOTES. sorry, i kindof got offtrack towards the end, so it's not as good as I'd like it to be.
CREDITS. made by karma!
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Post by Delora DuBois on Jul 28, 2010 0:02:22 GMT -5
"Mammon, what's wrong?" she asked, her blue eyes looking up at him filled with worry. Was he not as happy to see her as he appeared? The thought sent a cold chill down her spine. "You are happy to see me, aren't you?" she asked softly, a bit afraid of the answer. Perhaps his behavior could be attributed to the fact he seemed different from before, that something or someone affected him deeply.
As she looked into his eyes, she could tell there was something on his mind, and it upset her that it seemed to take over his thoughts. The possibilities of what it could be though one above the others seemed to haunt her. 'Did he....could he have met someone?' she thought, a pain shooting through her heart at the thought. He was everything to her, the reason she kept breathing every day, and it was unbearable to think he didn't see her in a way like that.
"Please say something, you're scaring me being so quiet" she said once more, hoping he'd stop spacing out and talk to her, to calm her worries that he was alright. That nothing had changed, and he still cared for her very much yet a part of her knew that it wasn't in the way she cared for him. It was that little part that would take over when she tried to kill herself while she was on Earth. 'He doesn't care about you. If he did, he'd be here to get you so just end it' that part of her head would say. She desperately kept that part at bay as she waited patiently for Mammon to answer her.
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Post by SHANE DEVONTE ANUBIS on Jul 29, 2010 16:26:34 GMT -5
YOU'VE GOT A NERVE ¡¯TO BE ASKING A FAVOR !!!you've got a nerve to be calling my number ?!...and i know, we've been through this beforeCAN'T YOU HEAR ME NOW, I'M CALLING OUT YOUR NAME ?!?- - - - - - - - -$$$;;- - - - - - - - -Shane wanted to say something, he really did, but his mouth seemed to have run out of words to say at the worst possible moment that it could have done so. The desperation and the hope in her voice was torturous, such sad music to his ears, it could drive one to suicide. She hadn't always been like this; Once upon a time, she had been the daimon of ignorance. The definition of her sin, she simply went about her days without a worry or care in the world, and she didn't need anyone besides herself. But now, she was Despair, as her hands scrambled across his chest in the awkward embrace, simply wanting to be in the company of her father. It saddened him, to see something so dependent on something as foolish as himself. What have I done to her?
He could only pat her head and smile at the shorter girl, like a parent trying to ease his child's tantrum in a public place. She had a good reason, though, in sharp contrast to the annoying toddlers that seemed to litter America's many grocery stores, screaming for toys, more-and-more. They weren't too different from himself, however; He wondered if the creation of Despair was just another selfish pursuit by himself, just another thing to grab. He couldn't help but wonder the same of Pixie, if she was nothing more than just another item to obtain. No, no...they mean more than that to me!, he fought against himself, but eh couldn't help but fear his thoughts true. I'll never truly change, will I?, he asked himself, and just like Despair below him, he was afraid he wasn't going to get much in the way of answers.
Looking down at her through the dark browns of his eyes, he could only softly smile, a thinly-veiled attempt to hide those weird feelings of confusion and sadness that burned inside his heart like a great furnace. He needed to say something, he couldn't just have her sit there and wait, hopelessness breeding behind her baby blues: "there's nothing wrong, Pazuzu...", he lied the best he could to her, but the lack of truth in his voice seemed to gather around him like smoke off a cigarette, and he was sure the fellow daimon could detect it. He was never very good at lying, but he was going to try his hardest, until he felt it the right time to tell Pazuzu the truth. He had no idea that the daimon of despair already had a pretty good idea of what was going on, but he wouldn't have been entirely surprised, since he basically just gave it to the girl.
His hand running through her now blonde hair, he put on another smile, another mask to hide his feelings of worry that seemed to have decided to plague his conscious; strange, because he didn't even believe he had one up until this upcoming week, with all it's craziness. He didn't know guilt, he didn't know love, he didn't know what an apology is. He knew that being pushed into all these new emotions so fast wasn't good for him, but there was no stopping it now, and he knew it would probably be the death of him, if anything could do the trick. A grin crossed his face, his eyes widening. "Of course I'm happy to see you, Pazuzu...", it made him feel good, speaking those now rare words of truth, he couldn't help but follow it up. "It's just alot has happened since you've been gone.", he explained, like so many before him, saying those same old words to that girl he hadn't seen in a while, though he wasn't sure if he ever felt any romantic feeling for her in the first place. It sounded like a broken record, sure, but it was a song that needed to be played, words that needed to be said.
He knew they weren't comfortable words for the girl, like daggers into her fragile little heart, so he hugged her tight to his thin, bony frame, hoping that maybe it might have softened the blow. He wouldn't have been entirely surprised if the girl tore herself away from him in a string of curses, and vowed to never see his face again in the heat of the moment, venom sizzling in her voice. Rightly so, he thought, and that was a thought he couldn't quite argue with her. He'd given her so much pain, like surgery without anesthesia, he was the surgeon who left her to bleed. Why did people keep falling into this trap that he'd set? He wanted to be some kind of caring person, a father, a lover, a brother...But eh couldn't, it wasn't what he was meant to do. He was meant to pick up things and toss them about as he found another, he was meant to kill in ways only a daimon could. Please say something, you're scaring me being so quiet, she shot, and the words went into him, like bullets to the heart. He wanted to say something, he did. But what could I say that isn't already apparent?, he narrated to himself. He could only hug the girl as she cried about his chest, and hope she could sulk her troubles away, for any further words would simply take her and leave her broken. - - - - - - - - -$$$;;- - - - - - - - -CAN'T YOU SEE ME NOW, I'M POUNDING ON YOUR DOOR !!! TAG. pazuzu.
WORDS. 900.
OUTFIT. CLICK.
MUSIC. DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER - kanye west
NOTES. i love pazuzu. <3
CREDITS. made by karma!
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Post by Delora DuBois on Jul 29, 2010 18:58:18 GMT -5
When Delora realized he was lying to her, she pulled out of his arms sharply, looking at him with her eyes wide and brimming with tears. "You've changed, Mammon" she said simply, a few tears sliding down her cheeks, "It may have been a long time since I've seen you, but I still know you well enough to see something has change." Her whole body was beginning to tremble, fighting back the pure sorrow and despair that was building within her body. She was desperately trying to keep the pieces of her world together, but slowly it was crumbling. Even though she could tell he was happy to see her, there was something bothering him and the fact he refused to be truthful about it broke whatever was there of her heart.
"Who is she?" she asked, more were beginning to fall as she spoke, "The woman who has your heart. Do you really think that I wouldn't know? Being up here has taught me a lot with reading people being one of them. I want to know why her? Why am I not good enough? Did I not put you back together whenever Asmodeus ripped you apart!?" She yelled that last part out, taking a step back away from Mammon. Of all the memories she had of her time with Mammon, the one thing burned there was whenever he came back from visiting his sister, the daimon of lust, he looked like his heart was torn apart, and Pazuzu despite her own feelings of despair would do her best to put the pieces back together.
She should have realistically known that during the time they'd been apart, he'd forget her and allow someone into the part of his heart that always seemed beyond her reach yet that didn't stop her from feeling pain of the realization. "I thought you cared enough about me to be honest, but it's obvious I was wrong" she whispered, wrapping her arms around herself, digging her nails hard into the tender flesh of her upper arms, blood seeping through her white shirt that she wore. The more she let the thoughts of the fact he didn't feel the same way for as he did for her consume her, the sorrow she felt was becoming too much.
Without saying anything else, she looked at him one last time before turning away and running as fast as she could. The further she could get the better. Perhaps if she could be away then she could forget him like he forgot her. 'Fat chance, girlie' her mind whispered to her, 'there's only one escape, and you know what it is.' Shaking those thoughts out her head, she continued to run, hoping he wasn't trying to follow her.
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