Underwater Paradise [Lani]

[cailean]

The fishing trip hadn't gone exactly as planned. But then again things had gotten messed up before the trip had bothered to take place. He had wanted to return the tickets but it hadn't been allowed. He couldn't exchange his to go at a later date either. He was stuck with what he had and it meant he had been stuck going with Lani. Normally this wouldn't have bothered him except he had had a falling out with the incubus before the trip. No doubt it bothered Lani to be there as well. There hadn't been any girls for there for him to hit on, just the two of them and the captain of the boat. Of course the boat had been first booked for the privacy but once he was on it Cai wished for more to distract himself with. So for the most part he had stayed near the railing to peer into the water below. Anything to keep his attention away from whatever Lani was doing.

Once the boat had stopped to allow them to fish Cai took the chance to leap over the railing when a wave rocked the ship. It could easily be disregarded as an accident even though the leap had been made purposefully. Cai slid easily beneath the water to enjoy the world beneath the surface, going to places that couldn't be seen from above. And to think that he had intended to bring Lani down here when they had first booked the trip but now the kelpie was using it as an escape.

The man breathed the oxygen from the water easily, observing the fish that same around him. He wasn't really a saltwater kind of guy but he could deal with it to have some time to himself. A smile slipped over his lips as he followed a school of colorful fish, losing himself along the way. Being underwater was like being in an entirely different world. One that only few knew the exact wonders of.

While following the school of fish he lost the position to the boat. When he surfaced the boat was no longer in sight but the rocky shores of land were. Cai figured that there was probably a port further down the beach but he wasn't interested in finding it. Instead he took to climbing the rocks and disappearing into the foliage beyond. He wasn't quite yet ready to return to his small group. Perhaps towards the end of the day he would. Why wasn't he allowed a day to do whatever he wanted? Lani did it all of the time. What did it matter that this trip was all his idea? He could still get away if he wanted to.

It took a great bit of walking to reach the waterfall, allowing him to dry out on the way. But the sound of cascading water drew his attention and quickened his pace. Once he got there he removed his clothing and left them neatly folded upon the grass before diving into the water. It was much more freeing and natural to swim without clothes. Besides, his movements were more graceful without the weight dragging him down. He dove beneath the surface of the water, heading towards the deep end to see just what was down there.

[/size]

[gabby]

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Try as he might, Lani couldn't forget the past week. It had been utter hell leading up to the trip. He found he couldn't even go out and enjoy casual sex like he had before. No, his mind was always on Cailean and it was driving him nuts. It wasn't like he was inlove with Cailean or anything, at least, he didn't think he was. They were best friends, though, and the relationship they had shared was the closest to a normal one the incubus had ever had, which made their separation that much more unbearable.

The tables were turned: Cailean was now the one staying out late, meeting new people. Lani didn't think he was having sex with them, but he could have been wrong. It was just that the kelpie had never been very sexual, even when they had been "together". Still, he was upset and jealous that his attempts at reconciliation were rebuffed. But because the kelpie hadn't actually broken off their relationship, he wanted to keep trying.

Sure, he could have broken down and spilled his life story to the other man, but that was too cheesey, too much like a bad romance movie. So he had kept quiet, trying to wait until Cailean would sit down and talk to him seriously. Maybe he did owe the boy an explanation behind his actions, no, actually, he really did owe the other some sort of apology and explanation beyond: "I'm Sorry."

And then it had happened. Cailean had dived off the side of the boat, leaving him alone with the captain, and he hadn't resurfaced. The incubus was FURIOUS when the boy didn't come back. He knew damn well kelpies could breathe under water and when the realization hit him that he had been abandoned, it'd shocked him. Though not as much as the boat being pulled under the waves had. Lani and the captain had both struggled to stay on board, but the waves were large and the pull of the tide was strong. Lani had went under and passed out from lack of oxygen.

When he'd woken up, he'd found that the waves had carried him all of the way onto some foreign island's shore. Standing up, he took into account his surroundings, though he didn't seem too pleased. It seemed practically deserted aside from a skeleton or two litterring the shore (one looked fresh- a thought he didn't want to linger on.)

First things had been first. He needed to find somewhere to set up shelter- preferably with other humanoids (that weren't cannabalistic, mind you.) The waterfalls noise had drawn him to it after time of wandering- and he was really thirsty. He had just knelt beside the running water to cup some and drink it when he noticed someone very familiar standing there.

"Cailean..." he breathed, unsure of how he should feel. If this was hell, he was there.

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[cailean]

The pool wasn't too large and so it didn't take too long to explore. There had even been a cave behind the waterfall that was spotted. He could easily rest in there until he decided to return the boat. This thought had him returning to the shallow end and surfacing. He had come back up to get his clothes and take them into the cave. But just as he stood in the water and was reaching for them he heard his name.

Head was turned to see who could possibly be calling him and winced when he saw Lani standing there. He was having trouble breaking things off with the incubus. Lani was the only one that he had trusted with his secret and it was hard to find someone else that wouldn't run right out and tell. But the other was inconsiderate too. Saying he wanted to spend time together and then planning things with someone else for whenever it was right after. That had been what it finally took before Cai decided that he needed time away.

He had doubted that Lani would come looking for him. That he would even notice that he was gone. He figured that the other was on his phone with some other chick and having her meet him at the dock so as soon as he got back to shore he could take off with her without a glance back. And it wasn't like it was below Lani to do something like that.

He frowned and looked away again. "Why aren't you on the boat Lani?" The words were spoken tiredly. Cai had actually been enjoying his time alone. For a moment or two he had been happy. And now he was faced with his problems again. "I was going to be back by the end of the night." He wouldn't have completely abandoned Lani. He wasn't inconsiderate. He just needed some time to himself. Some time to do what he wanted to do.

[gabby]

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Lani still stood there, seemingly paralyzed for the moment as he debated on how to respond. Would Cai even believe him, even if it was the truth? It's not as if Lani had ever lied. Hell, even when told "I love you" he came up with a cop-out. He was honest with people, but he wasn't sure if Cailean would see that, and that stung. To think that he didn't know his best friend anymore was a low blow.

"You know, funny about that, Cai. About an hour after you left the boat capsized. No fucking clue where the captain is- if he's alive or dead. I got caught in this strong tide pull, and now I'm here," Lani was completely serious as he said it, and why shouldn't he be? It was the truth. "There's something really strange about this place."

Lani couldn't put his finger on the problem, exactly, but he knew he didn't like the vibe he was getting from this place. It was just plain creepy. And, on top of that, how the hell did he get here in the first place when shore wasn't even visible from their tiny boat? It was like this island had just morphed out of no where. It was that thought that made Lani really sick to his stomach. Maybe he was just dreaming.

But he didn't care to test the theory if he was. He knew that generally when people thought they were dreaming, they really weren't. So doing something unbelievably stupid would just be stupid. If it was a dream, he'd have to wait it out and see what came of it, no matter if that was a good or bad thing-- and if it wasn't a dream, well, the consequences to everything he did here would be real, then, wouldn't they?

He furrowed his eyebrows. "I think we should try to get back to civilization. My phone is dead from the water, so no luck there, and I haven't seen any boats at all."

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[cailean]

He knew that Lani wouldn't lie to him but he still couldn't trust the other. He knew that what would be said would be the truth. That wasn't to be worried about. He just couldn't trust Lani to be his friend. To do anything that wouldn't benefit himself first. He knew that he could believe what was said but also knew there was most likely some sort of catch to it. It wasn't like the incubus ever seemed to think of anyone but himself. It was a rather hard fact to swallow. One that he had only recently come to terms with. Lani was never going to change no matter how much he might want him to.

"Cailean." He corrected the other. They hadn't made up to the point of being on friendly terms again. He might miss his friend but he knew that wasn't destined to work out. He was trying hard to make a clean break of things. One where neither would end up being hurt. But Lani seemed unable to drop it. Refusing to just let that silly little nickname go. He wasn't a colt anymore and hadn't made so many tragic mistakes since that time.

"You can go back. I rather like it here. It's peaceful." Cailean wasn't picking up on the vibe that Lani was. But then again Cai was also being comforted by the water. It was quiet and there didn't seem to be many around. To Cai it was nearly perfection. City life had never really suited him anyway. Lani was the one always wanting to go to the big cities. Places packed with people. It was just another aspect upon which they differed.

"If you want to find a boat then it might be better for you to wait on the shore. Doubt any will see you here." Cai picked up his clothes and waded through the water in the direction of the cave. Of course Lani would automatically assume that Cai would just follow along behind him. It was what Cai had always done. He'd follow and be forgotten about until Lani had no one else to turn to for attention.

[gabby]

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No, he should have known that Cailean wouldn't see the danger of the situation. But Cailean didn't have Lani's empathy. There was something sick about this place, and he was certain that he had sensed some others' presences nearby on his way into the forest. And the emotions controlling the people were fear and hunger. Not a good combination-- Lani was quick to assume they were on an island of cannibals, but he also hoped this wasn't the case and wanted to at least try to find a city.

Besides, a waterfall couldn't be the safest place ever, could it? Wouldn't people like... come here to bathe and stuff? Or drink-- no, Lani didn't really want to think that this place was also used for drinking purposes if people swam in it.

"Look," Lani ran forward, splashing into the water as he did. Not like it mattered now, after the ship had capsized he was soaking wet and covered in sand. "Cai, there's something... really wrong here. Don't you remember that I can sense these things? I know you're still mad at me, but I don't want to see you get hurt. You're still my best friend!"

Lani desperately wanted a second chance. This entire drama had really done a number on him. He was no longer sleeping around, hadn't since that day. But Cailean hadn't believed him so far. No, the other seemed intent on breaking off their friendship, but Lani would be damned before he let that happen. Cai was his best friend and he wasn't going to let him slip away that easily.

Even if it meant he had to confess everything.

"Please, Cai... I don't think we should split up, at least until we know where we are and who else is here."

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[cailean]

"Lani, stop it. I like it here. That's it. I've got everything I need right here. I've got water and I've got food. I even have shelter. I don't need all of that city stuff that you do. I am happy right here." Cai couldn't imagine anyone bothering him. No one had ever noticed him before so why should they start now? He figured that Lani was just being paranoid and that was all. Lani had always seemed to have this abnormal fear that someone was out to get Cai or something like that.

Cai sighed and rubbed at his temples. "I don't want to leave Lani. You are the one all about clean breaks so why are you making this so difficult? Why are you bothering to drag this out?" Was it because Cai had decided to break it off and not Lani? After all Lani was the one that had quit all of his other exes. Cai, as far as he knew, was the first that told Lani that he had had enough. And look how long before it had taken him to do that.

Even so Cai had never given Lani an exact reason for the break up. And it seemed that he would have to share all of that pent up hurt for Lani to finally be able to take the hint. "Lani please, I didn't want to do this. I can't be with you. You remember that one day when you were fretting about some guy convincing me that I was in an abusive relationship? Well I have been in one all along. You've never hit me but what you did was much worse. You made me feel worthless. Every day you would hurt me. You would hold me and touch me like you loved me but I never meant anything to you. How could I if you left from spending a night with me to go be with someone else instead? But I don't blame you Lani. I saw it happening but did nothing about it until now. I can't continue to live like that any longer. You just won't ever change and I'm tired of being used whenever you see fit. Tired of being given hope only to have it snatched away again."

[gabby]

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Lani kept his mouth shut, listening as Cai spoke even though with every next word his heart was being wrenched. "How was I supposed to know, Cai... you never told me. Not until just recently. I never had time to really think about it. Fuck, I mean, Cai, I've never, ever had a normal relationship in my LIFE."

The incubus was shaking. He couldn't let Cai get away. He couldn't let his last life line leave him. his family was gone, and Cai was the only friend he had ever trusted to stick by. He couldn't let him go. He had to tell him. "... You're the only person I've ever been able to care about... Hell, you're the only person I thought I could stay with. You know, I haven't been able to fuck a girl without seeing your face there, right? No, of course you wouldn't. You never gave me a chance to explain. You won't listen to me now."

Lani didn't sound angry. He sounded tired, he sounded... scared.

He took a deep breath and stepped forward a few paces to grab Cai's wrist to force him to stay and listen to him. Perhaps not the smartest move, but at least he'd have his attention for a few seconds. "I'm trying to change. For you. Fuck, Cai, I'm not where damn near good enough for you. I've known that all along. But you... you're all I have left. My parents are dead. My sister's dead. They all left me behind. I can't lose you, too. Not when I can do something about this. I know how you feel now. I won't ignore those feelings. Don't leave me."

The incubus had to stop there. He could actually feel that a few tears had fallen from his eyes. His face said it all: he was sincere about this, and he had never looked more terrified in his life. He had never begged for anyone before, not since he had cried on his mother's corpse, begging her not to leave him as life slipped from her body.

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[cailean]

"Do you ever listen to anything I say? I've told you over and over again that I care about you. I've told you that I love you only to have it brushed off. Why should I keep expressing myself and tell you how I feel when you reject me and push me aside for whatever girl walks by you?" Cai was crying. He didn't care who saw. Sure, they've had their tiffs before but nothing to this scale. Nothing to where Cai was actually saying things that could possibly hurt Lani and push him away. He had always keep these things to himself so that he didn't lose Lani.

"You're right. I don't know. Know why I don't know? Because you refuse to tell me anything. You are supposed to be my best friend and I don't know a damn thing about you. You now everything about me. You've met my family. You won't let me anywhere near yours. Not even names. So you are right. I don't know or understand anything about you because you won't let me. You never answer any questions so it is pointless to even try. You always complain that I am ashamed of you. But no, it is the other way around. You must be ashamed of me because you keep me in the dark. All I have ever been to you was your whore. someone you can pick up, fuck, then leave whenever you want."

Cai pulled his wrist out of the other's grasp. "Stop it. Don't touch me. You don't want me. No one wants me. I'm okay with that. I'll just be alone for the rest of my life since I have nothing of value to bring to a relationship." He stopped with what he was saying when Lani admitted to his family being dead. Now Cai felt guilty all over again. Lani couldn't show him off to his family because Lani didn't have family. Wow, how much of an ass he was.

"Riel..." Cai ran out of steam. He couldn't argue anymore. Instead he was moving back over to the other and wrapping his arms around him. There was no way that he could stay upset with Lani hurting as much as he was. Just as always he was giving in and trying to comfort the other. Holding Lani close to him as he always did whenever Lani was upset.

[gabby]

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Throughout Cai's speech, Lani remained silent. He knew he deserved to be yelled out, hit, whatever, but it didn't mean that the words weren't cutting him deep. Did Cai really think that Lani thought all of that of him? Couldn't the kelpie see how much he actually cared? No, years of pent up resentment due to his situation, and who could blame him, had blinded the other-- and him.

"I just didn't know how you felt... I really didn't. I would never think of you like that. And if I had parents to go home to, I would take you to meet them." Lani hadn't been ready to accept Cai's feelings when his friend had first stuck him with those simple words: "I love you." The incubus had freaked out, had told him to not bring emotion into it, but he hadn't realized how serious his friend was until he had called their friendship off. It was only then he'd had his wake-up call.

And now that he had told Cai, or at least admitted his family was dead (not yet explaining how or why), the kelpie once more had his arms around him. Lani didn't think it was right. Cai was the one upset, Lani should have been the one comforting him. It pained him to know that Cai was having to comfort him now, yet it was a breath of relief as the embrace took place and his name "Riel" was spoken from the other's lips. Cai may not have forgiiven him, but maybe he would stick around long enough for them to try to work through it.

"I'm... sorry, Cai. I never told you anything because I was afraid-- I am afriad of losing you. But by keeping everything to myself, I just pushed you away. I'm so, so sorry." he ducked his face into the side of Cai's neck and hugged the other back tightly. "Just give me this one last chance to get things right. I promise I'll do better. Please..." he was shaking in Cai's arms. He didn't know what he would do if Cailean walked away now while he was so vulnerable and broken.

"I'll tell you everything, just don't go..." Lani sniffled.

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[cailean]

This was the exact reason that he had kept all of these thoughts to himself for so long. He knew that they were hurtful. That they could possible drive Lani away. Which was why he had kept them to himself for so long. He hadn't ever wanted to make Lani feel bad. That is exactly why he kept everything to himself. He didn't want something like this to happen. But it was too late. It was already happening and he couldn't take any of it back now. It was all out and in the open.

"You did. I told you. And you told me to leave my emotions out of it. You don't so that sort of stuff for emotions. Only for your own pleasure and sanity." There had been times when the reach around would be forgotten about. Or the multiple times that things would get started but never completed. Just another complication for them. Just more issues for them to sort through. Just something else that Cai had never brought to light that had bothered him.

Cai was always the one to break down first to go and comfort Lani. Lani never moved to comfort Cai. Cai could be upset and Lani would never even notice. Especially since Cai had spent most of their time together upset about something that Lani had said or did. It was just an entirely unhealthy relationship for Cai yet the kelpie had been unable to walk away from it. Even now he had been sucked back in.

Cai held onto Lani, rubbing at his back gently. He was trying to calm the other down. He really didn't like seeing him upset like this. "Shh, it's okay Riel. Everything is going to be okay." He whispered out the words just as he had any other time that Lani had gotten upset. "I'll stay but I can't continue like things were. If we are going to be friends then we are going to just be friends. No more benefits involved."

[gabby]

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Cai had said he would stay. That was all that mattered in Lani's mind at the moment, all he was registering as Cai stroked his back and continued comforting him. He couldn't bring himself to smile, though. All he could do was nearly collapse as all of his locked away emotions him hit him like a speed freight train. He put a hand to his face and coughed as a smile finally reached him.

He knew he was about to have to reply to the question of the century, something that was going to change their relationship for better or for worse forever. But he had come this far, hadn't he? What if he made the wrong choice and pushed Cai away forever? Or what if it was a ticking time bomb?

He sighed and took a deep breath before pushing back from Cailean in order to look at him, truly look at him. "Then... let's not be friends. Let's make it official. Just me and you, right?" It wasn't going to be particularly easy on them. Lani wasn't used to a committed, monogamous relationship. He'd never had one and didn't know what to compare them to.

But he hadn't been sleeping with girls as regularly as Cai thought for some time, and even when he had, he'd thought about his friend. No matter what he did, the kelpie's face followed him. And aside from their misunderstandings and miscommunications, they had a pretty damn good relationship, or so Lani thought.

He just didn't know what Cai was going to say, and he didn't know how they were going to get off this godforsaken island. But there was a way in, so there had to be a way out. . . right?

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[cailean]

Cai stared at Lani as the other pushed away from him. The words that came hit him hard. Lani didn't want to be friends? After bothering him and begging him now he just wanted to throw it all away because Cai wasn't good at casual sex? Those were his first thoughts so it was good that Lani had continued. But still even those words confused Cai. What was Lani saying? Make it official?

"Are you serious?" It was hard to believe. Incredibly hard to believe. "If you are just doing this for the sex then you can easily find someone else for that. I mean, I'll still be around even if we don't mess around." He was apprehensive about Lani's sudden decision. It was what he had always wanted but he didn't want Lani to end up regretting it. He didn't want the other to feel like this was only option. "You know how I feel Riel. I don't want you doing this unless you feel the same way."

Cai understood that he could be setting himself up for disappointment since he was giving Lani a way out. But still he wanted the real thing. Not just Lani settling in order to get something else that he wanted. He was in love and all he really wanted was that love to be returned. If he couldn't have that then he wasn't really interested in having anything at all. He would just be a friend and support Lani like he always had.

[gabby]

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He hated to hear the doubt in Cai's voice, but could he really blame the kelpie? He didn't have the best track record for maintaining a stable relationship, so the fact he was so willing to give this a try was surprising. At least, unless you considered the fact that he had just spent a few weeks of pure hell realizing how much he needed his best friend in his life.

It could really change a person, and it had changed Lani for the better. At least, he was hoping so. "I am serious, Cai. If I wasn't serious, I wouldn't have said it." Lani was worried, now, about how they were going to get off this island. But he decided he'd wait until this was sorted out before he brought it up. If he brought it up now, it'd just seem like he didn't care about Cai's feelings, which wasn't true, but he didn't need any drama starting because they misinterpreted each other. Again.

"I want to have a relationship with you. Romance. Not just fucking or friends with benefits. We'll be exclusive. Dating. Boyfriend." he was trying to get it through Cai's head that he wasn't going to up and leave. He'd came this far, hadn't he? He wasn't going to back down now, not when there was so much at stake.

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